I am going to buy some shit today. I am going to buy some neat, local stuff. I am going to buy some stuff from great, big companies that make beautiful and well-designed things. I’ll buy stuff from giant, soul-sucking corporations, too. I am going to Etsy my ass off, Amazon my brains out, and get my zen on at Zappos. I am not eating leftovers. I am consuming like a champion. I am going to have a smile for everyone I meet. Bang those UPS trucks up to the dock, baby, lift those doors and bring the dollies. Open your arms. It’s Christmas, see? Bake me some toffee and bring me a $5 coffee. You want to party with me, and I want to party with you.